Keycap Kevin: I play "Jingle Bells" on my keyboards

As a true grinch, I'm not into Christmas. But this year, my children have put "Jingle Bells" in my ear and I can't get the song out of my head. So, in a hasty well-considered move, I decide to play the classic on my keyboards. I have to mention that I have the musical talent of an earthworm.

Live session

First of all, I try the most logical thing: I lay out several keyboards and try to create a scale with them. In the end, I have five keyboards in front of me, each of which I only need one or two keys. Making music with them is extremely awkward. My talentless brain can't get it right. I'm constantly mistyping.

Recording the sound is also difficult. My microphone doesn't pick up the sounds at the same volume. After a few attempts, I drop the idea. I decide to record individual key tones and then play the melody on the computer.

Quality of choice

But how? The last time I made a song on a PC was 20 years ago. I'm no longer up to date with the latest software - and especially how it works. I don't want to spend any money, which is why I'm looking for a free digital audio workstation (DAW). I think I've found it in Waveform. But that turns out to be a mistake. After several tutorials, my head is spinning.

On the advice of my colleague Simon, I take a look at Ableton Live. There are a lot more tutorials for this - especially ones that I understand. I'm convinced and buy a licence. 63 francs poorer, I get to work.

Three attempts until failure

First I record my scale with the microphone. There are actually only six notes. I forget to record H. No matter, I don't need that for my version of "Jingle Bells".

I have to create my own instrument in Ableton if I want to make music with my keyboards. To do this, I import the recorded key sounds. Then I play "Jingle Bells" according to the sheet music. It sounds like this:

Well, the melody is recognisable, but there's still something missing. I think I know the solution: the little bell that keeps ringing. But how can I produce this sound? I have to deviate from my plan of using only key tones. I'll record two more tones:

• I turn the knob on one of my keyboards
• I hit the back of my glass keyboard with my fingernail

I import these two sounds back into Ableton and play them slightly offset from each other. My second version sounds like this:

I'm not really happy with it. The problem is probably that my keys don't resonate; it sounds like I'm playing "Jingle Bells" with a drum kit.

I don't want to give in that easily and decide to try using effects. Maybe I can change my key tones so that they sound more like an instrument? I experiment a little and come up with the following result:

The keystrokes now sound more like an instrument, but the effects make all the keys sound the same. In particular, they all have the same pitch.

Desperate, I turn to my colleague David, who, unlike me, can play an instrument. He has already supported me with his guitar skills on a previous project.

He also thinks that the problem is that my keyboard notes don't resonate. I send him my notes. Shortly afterwards, he shows me the solution he made in Garage Band:

Can you do better?

This concludes my experiments. My conclusion: keyboard sounds are probably better suited as percussion or for genres other than Christmas carols. For electronic music, for example. I'll try that out next, but preferably in my quiet little room. Then I don't have to be embarrassed about my lack of musical talent.

David's "Jingle Bells" suggestion gives me an idea, though: I'll give you my almost-scales and other sounds that I've recorded. If you feel like it, make your own version of "Jingle Bells" and send it to me by e-mail. You can find the address under my author profile. If there are at least three suggestions, I'll put the best one to a vote in another article. The person with the most votes will receive a 30 francs voucher. Here you can find the sounds.