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Loneliness makes you ill, being alone helps against it

27/2/2024

Translation: machine translated

In film, art and philosophy, loneliness is seen as a dazzling source of inspiration and insight. In reality, however, lonely people lose touch, with serious health consequences. And as research now knows, our own brains even prevent us from socialising again.

For two years, dropout Christopher McCandless travelled alone through the North American wilderness towards Alaska. Companions are rare, until he spends the last months before his death in 1992 in a white and green bus wreck in complete solitude. His story is fascinating - not least because of the question of what voluntarily drove the then 24-year-old into social isolation. His diary, which he writes en route, becomes a global success thanks to the book adaptation "Into the Wild", with feature films and documentaries following shortly afterwards.

McCandless' tragic end in solitude was later romanticised by many. His bus became a place of pilgrimage, until adventurers had an accident on the way there and the wreck was removed.

In reality, there is little glorious about solitude. It doesn't need a bus wreck in the wasteland - loneliness can arise anywhere: In everyday life and even in moments of togetherness.

Johannes Gorbach, project manager of the platform against loneliness in Austria, provides insights into the world of loneliness, why the path out of it is so difficult and what the first step can be.

Not a sign of old age: more and more young people affected by loneliness

When you imagine someone lonely today, you don't see the dazzling young adventurer, but an old person in a care home. In reality, however, loneliness is not something that only occurs in old age

On the contrary: data from Germany from the opinion research institute Splendid Research, prepared by the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung, even shows that more and more young people between the ages of 18 and 29 feel lonely today.

In Switzerland, loneliness according to statistics even decreases with increasing age: while 48 per cent of respondents in the 15 to 24 age group often feel lonely, the figure is only 32 per cent for those aged 65 and over.

"Loneliness arises in transitional phases of the life course," says expert Gorbach. "Youth is such a phase: moving house, changing schools or starting work - these are all changes that increase the risk of loneliness." He explains why the focus is now increasingly on young people as a risk group: "The pandemic has put a spotlight on this and loneliness has been greatly de-tabooed among young people."

Digitalisation and social media: Drivers of loneliness?

The extent to which digitalisation, social networks and smartphones play a role is currently the subject of heated debate in the scientific community: "Digital media have significantly changed our social relationships over the last two decades. In all age groups."

Scientists have come to different conclusions about this development. According to a study published in 2023 more time spent on social networks is clearly linked to a greater feeling of loneliness.

For Gorbach, however, the picture is not black and white: "We see problematic effects - for example the retreat into exclusively digital worlds. But we also see opportunities: digitalisation often makes it easier for those affected to take the first step out of loneliness. It is often easier for young people in particular to socialise online." But one thing is certain for the expert: "Our human need for social contact and closeness cannot only be satisfied in the digital space."

A warning sign: What loneliness is trying to tell you

How does science describe loneliness? As a subjective, negative state: "A perceived lack between the desired and available contacts," says Gorbach. From an evolutionary perspective, it is a warning sign, similar to hunger or stress: "The feeling of hunger is not a bad thing per se. It just tells me: I need to go in search of food and eat something."

Loneliness, like hunger, seems to be an ancient evolutionary programme. And a completely normal human emotion. It tells you: "You need to go out again and socialise with other people."

No problem, you think, you have enough contacts saved on your mobile. But that alone is not the decisive factor: "We also have to perceive the quality of the relationship as satisfying." This is why people who are in a relationship or have a large circle of friends can often feel lonely. "These people often want even deeper friendships in which they can exchange ideas about shared interests."

A situation you may already be familiar with. Everyone feels lonely here and there, says Gorbach. Spending time alone from time to time is actually a skill that can prevent loneliness. So let's briefly define the term: unlike loneliness, being alone is something neutral. When you are alone, you are physically separated from other people, which can have positive aspects: "If you can be alone at times and have a good relationship with yourself, you learn a lot about your own needs in relationships," says Gorbach. Which contacts are good for you? What do you look for in relationships and what topics do you like to talk about?

Being alone can be an opportunity, loneliness here and there is completely normal. "It's a human experience to be lonely. It becomes problematic when I am lonely and have no contacts that satisfy my need for belonging or intimacy."

How loneliness harms health

First of all: loneliness is not a diagnosis or illness, but loneliness can make you ill. If it lasts longer - i.e. if it becomes chronic - it can leave deep scars on your health. Literally.

For example, studies have shown that prolonged loneliness increases blood pressure and the risk of heart attacks and other coronary heart diseases. In addition, the risk of type 2 diabetes doubles and the risk of dementia increases by a whopping 40 per cent.

The bottom line is that for chronically lonely people, this means an 83 per cent increased risk of death - higher than mortality from obesity or tobacco use.

This is why the World Health Organisation (WHO) recently announced the launch of a commission on loneliness. It is to investigate how social contact can be promoted as an article for good health. In the UK, on the other hand, there has been a dedicated ministry for loneliness since 2018, which is doing pioneering work on the topic and aims to tackle the problem of too much loneliness that causes illness with the Tackling Loneliness Hub.

How loneliness changes the brain

And as if all this wasn't dramatic enough, loneliness research in recent years has also come to a frightening realisation: prolonged loneliness changes the brain. Studies with scientists from isolated Antarctic research stations showed that loneliness reduces the volume of the prefrontal cortex - the area of the brain behind your forehead. This is where you make decisions, solve problems and is considered the centre of your personality.

In line with this, studies such as this or this: Primates that lived in larger groups had larger brains and also more grey matter in their prefrontal cortex. This is not much different in humans. This at least explains the connection with dementia.

What these findings also explain: Over time, lonely people think their environment is more negative than it actually is. According to research, chronically lonely people perceive negative social stimuli (short responses, no eye contact) twice as quickly as people with a healthy social life. And: loneliness eventually makes social interaction less rewarding, as the reward centre in the brain shrinks. In short, even if you wanted to, your brain makes it hard for you to move out of social isolation.

"If you are already lonely, socialising per se takes on a negative connotation," says Gorbach. With the feeling of loneliness comes a flood of negative feelings, self-doubt and a lack of self-efficacy. The beginning of an involuntary downward spiral: "At some point, you perceive life out there as much more hostile than it is and approach others with a certain amount of suspicion. This makes it difficult to get out of loneliness."

Loneliness protects against loneliness

"Why don't you socialise more?" is a tip that lonely people often hear. This is about as helpful as advising a depressive to be more confident. Gorbach calls this advice "highly problematic". "You can't blame those affected for being lonely. Thinking changes over time and social skills deteriorate. You then have to relearn things like conversation skills and practise them regularly."

Instead, direct offers help those affected. Firstly, it is important to find a way out of social isolation and make contacts possible. If people in your environment are increasingly withdrawing from social life, you can accompany them to the neighbourhood centre, meeting café or to a taster session at the sports club.

Studies have shown: Lone people are less able to synchronise with others, exchange glances or respond to a smile. Creating potential contacts in an accompanied form can help to experience small positive moments with others again and counteract loneliness.

However, the expert says that those affected have to do it themselves. The first step is to admit that something is missing from their social life. And to ask yourself what kind of socialising you would like to do and where you can find like-minded people. It helps to realise that no one is immune to loneliness. Gorbach emphasises: "It can affect anyone and everyone. It's not your own fault."

If you yourself or someone close to you is affected, you can find out more about the topic on the platform against loneliness or contact Swiss initiatives such as Malreden.ch, Prävention.ch or the platform Heroes against loneliness initiated during the lockdown.

The desire for solitude was ultimately McCandless' undoing. He died alone, just a few kilometres from the nearest town, presumably of starvation. On the last pages of his diary, he came to the late realisation: "Happiness is only real if you share it."

Header image: shutterstock

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Olivia Leimpeters-Leth

Autorin von customize mediahouse

oliver.fischer@digitecgalaxus.ch

I'm a sucker for flowery turns of phrase and allegorical language. Clever metaphors are my Kryptonite – even if, sometimes, it's better to just get to the point. Everything I write is edited by my cat, which I reckon is more «pet humanisation» than metaphor. When I'm not at my desk, I enjoy going hiking, taking part in fireside jamming sessions, dragging my exhausted body out to do some sport and hitting the occasional party.

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