NICI Cuddly toy Oscar
35 cm
7 products that will help you survive the Oscars - and which also happen to be called "Oscar"
5/3/2024
Translation: machine translated
On 10 March, the 96th Academy Awards will be presented - in over 30 categories. With dozens of acceptance speeches and stylish self-congratulation, you'll need to sit in front of the TV. These gadgets can bridge the wait.
On average, an Oscar ceremony lasts around eight hours, including the Red Carpet. Anyone who has ever watched the event on television knows: It's a long ride. Especially because the awards ceremony in Los Angeles is broadcast at night due to the time difference. I have to confess: I nodded off more than once before the best film was announced at the end.
To make sure this doesn't happen to you, I've picked out five products that can sweeten the Oscars for you. I have made it a requirement that these products must have "Oscar" in their name. The result: some tips are useful, others are more ... well, read for yourself.
Cuddly toy
Is your child whingeing and annoying you while watching the Oscars? Just give him this plush owl with the surprising name "Oscar". Irony off.
By the way: The French short film "Incident on the Owl River Bridge" won an Academy Award back in 1964. Admittedly, the film is not about owls, but about an execution. In this respect, the film is not suitable for children. Better the owl stuffed animal then.
Penis ring
Also not suitable for children and in case a) you are male or b) the Oscars are too unsexy for you, here is the solution: the "Magic X Oscar" cock ring. It not only turns you on, but also your partner. That's what the two little horns are for. As a clitoral tickler, so to speak.
However, there is no Academy Award for the best screenplay in the erotic sector. The plot in the films in question is rather thin anyway.
Cigar
Your favourite film has won? Bingo! Time for a nice cigar. How about these specimens called "The Oscar Toro"?
Fits somehow, because "Independence Day" also won an Oscar in 1997. The film in which Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum light up a cigar after flattening various alien fighter jets.
Bed
You just can't keep your eyes open anymore, you're banging your head against the Academy Awards and all you want to do is sleep? Off to bed with "Oscar" from Vida XL.
You don't have to feel guilty if you're just too tired. Even stars like Jamie Lee Curtis have skipped after-show parties and confessed to preferring listening to the mattress to making small talk.
Sunglasses
For the day after: Anyone who has actually watched the Oscars to the bitter end is sure to have dark circles under their eyes like the O from the Hollywood sign the next day. These beautifully shaped sunglasses with the euphonious title "Oscar" provide a remedy (at least for those around you).
Of course, the stars on the red carpet don't bother with such inexpensive eye darkeners. Who wore which sunglasses on the night of the nights fills many, many websites, for example here.
Alternative for Oscar grouches
If you don't like the film awards at all, try a book by Oscar Wilde. "The Picture of Dorian Gray", for example. It's also about vanity - just like the Academy Awards.
Oscar statue
And because it should not be missing: the Oscar statue to put on the shelf. The original from Hollywood has a sword in its hand, this one has a star for copyright reasons.
Header image: Shutterstock/Poetra.RH
Anika Schulz
Teamleader Editorial
Anika.Schulz@galaxus.deAs a child, I was socialised with Mario Kart on SNES before ending up in journalism after graduating from high school. As a team leader at Galaxus, I'm responsible for news. I'm also a trekkie and an engineer.