The top 5 regrets of the dying
What do people think about just before they die? And if they were given one more chance at life, what would they do with it? In her many years of working as a palliative carer, Australian Bronnie Ware collected the answers to these questions and recorded them in her book.
During her time as a palliative carer, Bronnie Ware kept many people company during their final weeks, days and hours – and listened intently to what they had to say. As a result, she learned a lot about life, and discovered what regrets people have when it’s all about to end. She’s shared these stories and the lessons she’s learned from the regrets of the dying in her book.
Please note: the book isn’t yet available in all countries.Stay true to yourself
What won’t we humans do to please other people? Some people build their lives around other people’s expectations. In doing so, they forget the person who’s actually most important in their lives: themselves. Ware didn’t just hear this advice from Grace, an elderly lady she cared for during the final weeks of her life. It was what she heard most from people approaching death.
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself.
Grace was married for over 50 years. From the outside, her life looked picture-perfect. Secretly, however, Grace spent years dreaming of gaining independence from her tyrannical husband. But she never took the leap necessary to break up with him. On her deathbed, she wrests a promise from her carer to do things differently in her own life.
Hope-fuelling stories from the end of life
In a similar vein to Grace’s story, Ware tells many of the life stories of people she cared for during their final months, weeks and days. She shares the thoughts people reveal honestly at the end of their lives – their doubts, fears and failures. Then, she links them to her own life, reflecting on the lessons she can learn from her patients.
Time and again, the dying give her advice in their final moments. In her book, she tells these stories with great sensitivity and describes how they’ve shaped her own life.
Live – before it’s too late
With her book, Bronnie Ware has pulled off the feat of drawing optimism and joie de vivre from stories of death. She gives us the opportunity to immerse ourselves in the lives of people who, before they die, take time to reflect on what they’d do differently now. At the same time, she shares her own exciting, varied life story and the forks in the road she was able to take after drawing on the knowledge of her dearly departed patients.
This book is far from a collection of empty platitudes and advice. Instead, it’s a journey down different paths through life. A plea to reflect on what really matters to you and how you want to use your time on earth before you’re on your deathbed.
This is an edited version of the original article.
Science editor and biologist. I love animals and am fascinated by plants, their abilities and everything you can do with them. That's why my favourite place is always outside - somewhere in nature, preferably in my wild garden.